Your Elevated Life Blog

Love is a symbol of eternity.  It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

The celebration of Valentine’s Day is one of the best examples of polarity that there is on the planet.

When the male population was asked for their opinion of the holiday, their comments were generally the same in that their response was that they thought celebrating one day for “Love” was foolishness. They stated that they loved their partners every day and to make one day a holiday was ridiculous and simply a venue for marketers. On the other hand, women stated that they thought it was a ‘Lovely” idea and that receiving gifts and attention from their significant other was a wonderful thing to experience.

In addition, it’s a well-known fact that if the male does not make an effort to gift his woman, her feelings are hurt, she does not feel significant and she can and does draw the conclusion that “he” is selfish or an ass, or both.

The consequences of these thoughts by the feminine, spurs the act of thoughtfulness by the masculine on this day and the profits to the marketplace are HUGE. There is also the possibility of the “Third Side” which is …Give and you shall receive !

Esther Howland, the woman who produced the first commercial American valentines in the 1840s, sold a then mind-boggling $5,000 in cards during her first year of business. The valentine industry in the United States has been booming ever since.

Today, over 1 billion valentine cards are sent in this country each year…according to the Greeting Card Association. The happy day is also celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. Eighty-five percent of all valentines are purchased by Women. In addition to cards, there are billions of boxes of chocolates and bouquets of roses purchased mostly by Men for the February 14 holiday. . .The ironic part of this story is that the two names symbolizing this “Love” day, Valentine and Cupid, are names of MEN. How many of us actually know any history regarding why we celebrate February 14? Where did Valentine and Cupid come from anyway??

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day.  When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~Author Unknown

Cupid…everybody is familiar with the boy armed with bow and arrows who pierces Hearts. The arrows were aimed at the gods and humans alike and the wounds inspired Love or passion in every victim. These wounds produced desires and emotions causing them to fall deeply in Love.

Cupid was the son of Mercury, the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus, the goddess of Love and Beauty. He was sometimes portrayed wearing armor like that of Mars, the god of war, perhaps to suggest ironic parallels between warfare and romance or to symbolize the Invincibility of Love.  He was generally viewed as beneficent because of the Happiness he imparted to couples both mortal and immortal.

There is a very interesting story about Cupid and His mortal Bride Psyche in Roman mythology.

Venus was jealous of the beauty of Psyche, and ordered Cupid to punish the mortal. But instead, Cupid fell deeply in love with her. He took her as his wife, but as a mortal she was forbidden to look at him. Psyche was happy until her sisters persuaded her to look at Cupid. As soon as Psyche looked at Cupid, Cupid punished her by leaving her. Their lovely castle and gardens vanished too. Psyche found herself alone in an open field with no signs of other beings or Cupid. As she wandered trying to find her Love, she came upon the temple of Venus. Wishing to destroy her, the goddess of Love gave Psyche a series of tasks, each harder and more dangerous than the last. For her last task Psyche was given a little box and told to take it to the underworld. She was told to get some of the beauty of Proserpine, the wife of Pluto, and put it in the box. During her trip she was given tips on avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead and was also warned not to open the box. But temptation overcame Psyche and she opened the box. Instead of finding beauty, she found deadly slumber. Cupid found her lifeless on the ground and quickly gathered the deadly sleep from her body and put it back in the box. Cupid forgave her, as did Venus. The gods, moved by Psyche’s love for Cupid, made her a goddess. Cupid has always played a role in the celebrations of Love and Lovers so it seems appropriate that he is the most famous of Love signs and Valentine symbols. Love is most frequently depicted by two hearts pierced by an arrow…Cupid’s arrow.

The “Valentine” part of this holiday came from the Catholic Church who recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome.

When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men.

Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

It is traditionally a day on which Lovers express their Love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery and sending greeting cards known as “valentines.”

The day first became associated with Romantic Love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of Courtly Love flourished. It was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD, and was later deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. Though no longer considered a Saint…Valentine is still the talk of the town…at least for today!!

So, here’s hoping that you Love and are Loved Every Day and that you and your Special Someone let each other know how very special each of you are to one another…not just today, Valentine’s Day, but Every Day.

Smell the beautiful flowers, taste the fabulous chocolate, smile and perhaps, even blush a little when you read the Loving Thoughts of your man or woman…Love is all there is and Love makes the world go ‘round.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Assumptions are the termites of relationships. ~Henry Winkler

“I love you.” - What an emotional high these three simple words can bring – if they are spoken from the Heart.

The thing is, some people have a difficult time saying it comfortably without the words tripping out of their mouths. You’d think they’ll morph and turn into ogres, the way they squirm and go around beating the bush before finally saying the words. Then there are also those who openly say the words but don’t really mean it.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter if they do or don’t say the words. What matters is that a relationship remains honest and happy.

What are the things that make a relationship work anyway? The same factors work for all kinds of relationship.

Whether it’s a relationship between lovers, among family members, friends, office workers, and business partners, the same foundations apply for it to work. If a pillar is missing, the whole thing crumbles.

Three pillars make up the foundation. We call the three Pillars: The Relationship Tripod. Each will be discussed in length in the proceeding paragraphs.

The Companionship Leg

First, it must be understood that a relationship requires at least two people for it to exist, let alone work. You must be visible to the other person. If the relationship is long distance, you must at least feel that the other one is there. It won’t do any good to take the other’s existence for granted and count on the other to check up on you. You must also show compassion. If you keep up the show of indifference, it just spells failure. The other person needs to sense your feelings for them. Show them kindness, gentleness, sensitivity – anything that shows you care for them. It’s not that hard to say “I’m always here for you,” is it? Whoever receives this show of affection must give something back. Everyone must do his or her part in a relationship because it’s a give and take condition.

The Compromise Leg

In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely. ~Robert Brault

As mentioned earlier, a relationship is a give and take situation. Not all people are made alike; even if two people are so uncannily similar, there might still exist small differences that could spark an argument. This is why an agreement has to be reached on every argument, whether petty or vital. All kinds are important, especially when it comes to a relationship. Someone has to win and someone has to give in. This is why the discussion of differences is so essential. Discuss the disparity: What is the problem? Why is it a problem? Who should compromise and adjust to the problem? All these should be resolved. Conceding sometimes doesn’t make you a loser; rather, it goes to show how important a relationship is to you. “I guess you’re right.” These words could be the balm of your disputes.

The Communication Leg

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. ~Miles Franklin

There would be no discussion of differences, no showing of affection, and no saying of words without communication. This third and last leg is probably the most vital in a relationship. It enables us to know what the other party feels and what is needed to make the partnership work. It gives us the ability to say the words that are wanted and needed. In short, the other two legs won’t happen if the last one isn’t present. Just a small act of communication could go a long way in improving a relationship.

You can do simple things like writing a small note on a piece of paper, or writing short emails at least occasionally. Do something to give truth to your existence and your relationship. Don’t take this for granted, because a lot of relationships crumble due to lack of any contact. Take the long distance relationship, for instance. A lot fail, but some succeed because they contact each other almost every day. Even business associates keep contact by sending each other progress reports.

Any form of relationship is like a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump puts it.

Some tastes good and some don’t. Overall, the experience of having a box of chocolates gives you a good feeling because eating each and every piece of chocolate gives an experience – an experience of bitterness, sweetness, or even bitter-sweetness. You may not get every flavor that you desire in a box.

So if you are looking for a relationship that is easy on the heart and mind, get ready for the harsh reality. It entails the effort of everyone involved for it to work well.  And that includes You.

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Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.  ~Sue Patton Thoele~

Everyone has a story to tell. However, not everyone may be willing to listen. Sometimes, we are amazed – in an unpleasant way – over the fact that we have not been paying attention to the one speaking to us.

At some point along the story, our mind has wandered off, and we only drift back to reality when suddenly asked, “Are you still listening?”

That would be most unfortunate, since next to our visual skills, our ability to listen allows us to reap various benefits. If we listen to our mentor as he shares with us useful thoughts on life, we become good apprentices.

If we listen to our professor as he lectures about the day’s lesson, we become good students. If we listen to our boss as he explains the rationale of the company’s recent policy, we become good employees.

If we listen to our parents as they advise us regarding career choices, we become good sons/daughters. If we listen to a friend in dire need of unloading his troubles, we become good friends.

In short, listening is vital in developing good human relationships.

To maximize our listening capability, here are a few tips.

Focus.

It is but a single word, but its message conveys far more. Being focused means paying attention, and a lot of it at that. It means temporarily forgetting about other matters of consequence and lending a few minutes of your time to hear someone speak his mind out. It means giving interest to whatever it is that the speaker might want to say. It is taking his words seriously into consideration in whatever decision we are to make. It is placing his story in the context of his emotions, and trying to understand him within the events occurring in his life.

Watch out for non-verbal cues.

The message need not always lie on the words, but also in movements that the speaker makes. If we also pay good attention to the speaker’s eyes, facial expressions, and gestures, we will be able to receive the message in totality. Moreover, if the speaker realizes that we are sincerely listening, we are boosting his confidence.

Be sensitive.

A good measure of sensitivity is also essential to maintain enthusiasm in the part of the person speaking. If the person is at the peak of his emotions, do not interrupt. After all, if someone is extremely angry or anguished, it will be a form of catharsis to remain patient until he has calmed down. Unless the person is already causing bodily harm, it will do him well to let him be purged of his bad feelings.

Show unconditional openness.

We may not always agree with what someone has to say, but being there to listen may be the least we can offer. While we may have different opinions about several issues, keeping our horizons wide is a healthy attitude. With these perspectives in listening, we become open to a world of unlimited learning and diverse experiences.

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With January nearing it’s end and Valentine’s Day, rapidly approaching, we would like to share some of our favorite romantic flirting tips with you.

But first we want to tell you about this powerful new technique that almost no one knows about. It’s about attracting a new romantic partner, or bringing back the closeness and passion in dying relationships… It is now well-known that people communicate with each other on a subconscious level constantly. We are constantly communicating with and affecting each other, whether we realize it or not…

Maybe you’re having problems ‘getting noticed’ by new potential partners?

Maybe you’ve lost that connection or spark with your old partner? …Like Carrie,  before she used the Contact program…

“We are closer now than we have been in years The Contact Program has worked very well for me! And it worked faster than I expected as well. I used it for improving my relationship with my husband of 11 years, and immediately I noticed him responding to me differently. We were in a ‘rut’ so to speak and I wanted to bring back the connection and spice to our marriage. I worked with the visualizations and in some cases actually noticed he would do or say something, just as I had visualized it. That was huge confirmation for me. Our relationship is very strong and we are closer now than we have been in years. I would definitely recommend this for anyone who is looking to effect their relationship. You will be pleasantly surprised.”

Carrie, USA

It is rather difficult to be romantic without first flirting.

What exactly is flirting and how can you adapt some flirting into your own romantic moods and play? To begin, you don’t want to be too aggressive. Start with very friendly gestures and once you have gotten those moves down, and then go for the romantic flirting!

Flirting is a frame of mind:

• Be self-confident and do not be afraid to take risks.
• Be enthusiastic about romance and be positive!

Start a sexy conversation:

• Start with a simple, opening line by saying hello.
• Talk about anything at all, whatever will get the romance going.

Enjoy yourself and have fun:
• Be playful, light-hearted and above all, be spontaneous.
• Show that you can be vulnerable.

Make good use of all props:

• Always use a prop.
• Props will get the conversation started naturally. They encourage conversation and others will want to start talking to you.
• Great props are: pets, children, great jewelry, a wonderful scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite sports team’s emblem, an interesting book or magazine.

Play host:

• Take the lead by taking on the role of host.
• Do not be the passive person in waiting, but rather the lead.

Introduce yourself first:

• Move closer to the person you want to meet and introduce yourself confidently!

Listen-up:

• Everyone loves to be heard and when you are a good listener your partner will be drawn to you.

Make bold eye contact:

• Look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then look away. You don’t want to stare!

Pay a genuine compliment:

• Your partner will be pleased and will warm up to you more. Show a beautiful smile:
• You will look so much more approachable. Everyone is attracted to a genuine and heartfelt, smile.

So there you go! These are all ground-breakers when wanting to approach someone with romance. We must always be mindful of the fundamentals. When we just dive right in, unexpected, we can turn our loved one off.

Go slow, a step at a time and feeling confident, approach with your best romance moves.

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Discover how to attract a new romantic partner, or bring back the closeness and passion in dying relationships, using just the power of your mind…Visit the link below to watch the free video – Unlocking the Secrets to being a Superstar Lover – http://www.realmindpowersecrets.com/lover/?13152

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By entering into marriage, we take a great risk. We place our very selves… our own intimacy… into the hands of another, who, like us, is beset with defects.

A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. -Dave Meurer

Marriage, however, is a vocation; our specific pathway to Heaven.

It’s the preeminent way we are meant to Love and serve God on this earth. Its purpose goes beyond our capabilities: to nurture and protect human Love, and to unleash it on the world.

Therefore, Love for one’s spouse has to be shown in tangible, practical ways.

Your Wife

One of your wife’s greatest needs is for you to be her partner and teammate, as opposed to the roles you may be more inclined to fill: coach,  boss, referee, babysitter or “temp”.

Compliment your wife in person and behind her back. Let her know with very specific and sincere examples how much you admire her and her work inside and outside of the home. Let others know it, too, whether in her presence (like at social gatherings) or outside it (like work). You want to make it apparent to her that you notice and appreciate her  every effort, and apparent to others that… ” This man really loves his wife!”

Don’t teach your wife to nag or sulk. Yes, you read it right. You do this when you don’t pay undivided attention to her words and ideas. A woman detests having to force her way into her husband’s mind and heart; and when faced with that task, she will likely keep things bottled up until she has to explode. Unthinking males refer to this as “nagging”.

Therefore, recognize that TV, newspapers, magazines, mail, hobbies, etc. are your mortal enemies when you get home from work. Avoid them, go straight to your wife, and with eye-to-eye contact, listen to her tell you how her day has gone. Better yet, take the initiative and ask her how she’s doing at least once a week – and give her all the time and attention she needs to tell you.

Don’t try to explain or fix your wife’s hurts. She usually only wants your understanding and empathy not solutions to her problems. Do not trivialize her concerns.

Help with menial tasks around the house. It can be a form of pride to think that these jobs are beneath you. One helpful and challenging suggestion is to perform the task that either you or your wife detests the most. Doing either one will please her greatly.

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. -Amy Grant

Your Husband

Don’t expect him to be perfect. It’s to be hoped that the above points will have reminded him that he’s not perfect, and that he needs to work hard to fulfill his commitment of love in marriage. Make sure you let him know, in concrete ways, that you deeply appreciate his struggle – it is very important to a man that his best and honest efforts are treasured.

Do not expect him to be like a woman. He thinks, acts, and reacts differently than you do; and believe it or not, this is a good thing! Do not fall for the contemporary caricature of men as testosterone-poisoned little boys in adult bodies incapable of commitment, personal relationships,  or any other useful societal purpose. His maleness is there for you as a complement to your femininity…in other words…as strength for you.

Lavish tenderness and care on your husband. Little matters more to a married man than the certainty of his wife’s deep affection and care for him. It’s his fixed point amid the chaotic demands of his professional life. You will express this best not by doing occasional, extraordinary things, but by unrelenting acts of simple tenderness on a regular basis.

Loving unconditionally and always putting your husband or wife first and meeting their needs is the surest way to have and keep a happy relationship.

If each of you takes these matters to Heart,  you will find that Loving your spouse unconditionally is the most romantic thing you can do… because you will be living Love where it really counts: in the ordinary things, day by day by day.

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer. -H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

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Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring us the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence.
It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others.

Interdependence, of course, is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life, but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law, or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. In fact, all phenomena—be they from the oceans, the clouds, or the forests that surround us—arise in dependence upon subtle patterns of energy. Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.

It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore, we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others.

We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine-made objects. If we were merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our suffering and fulfill our needs. However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover who we are and what it is we require.

The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth. Since the very first thing we do is suck milk from our mothers’ breast, we naturally feel close to her, and she must feel love for us in order to feed us properly; if she feels anger or resentment, her milk may not flow freely. Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time of birth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time loving physical contact is the single most important factor for the normal growth of the child. If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled, or loved, its development will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly.

As children grow older and enter school, their need for support must be met by their teachers. If a teacher not only imparts academic education, but also assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or her pupils will feel trust and respect, and what has been taught will leave an indelible impression on their minds. On the other hand, that which is taught by a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students’ overall well-being will not be retained for long.

Nowadays, many children grow up in unhappy homes. If they do not receive proper affection, in later life they will rarely love their parents and, not infrequently, will find it hard to love others. This is very sad.

In the end, since a child cannot survive without the care of others, love is its most important nourishment. The happiness of childhood, the allaying of the child’s many fears, and the healthy development of its self-confidence all depend directly upon love.

Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, if someone speaks with human feeling, we enjoy listening and respond accordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, however unimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to the interaction. From the least to the most important event, the affection and respect of others are vital for our happiness.

Recently I met a group of scientists in America who said that the rate of mental illness in their country was quite high—around 12 percent of the population. It became clear during our discussion that the main cause of depression was not a lack of material necessities, but a deprivation of the affection of others. So, as you can see from everything I have written so far, whether or not we are consciously aware of it, from the day we are born the need for human affection is in our very blood. Even if the affection comes from an animal or someone we would normally consider an enemy, both children and adults will naturally gravitate toward it.

I believe that no one is born free of the need for love. And this demonstrates that, although some modern schools of thought seek to do so, human beings cannot be defined as solely physical. No material object—however beautiful or valuable—can make us feel loved, because our deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of the mind.

A Special Teacher…Practicing Unconditional Love

In honor of Child Abuse Prevention Month and National Foster Care Month, this poem has been chosen to share with you.  A wonderful and talented woman by the name of Ina Hughs wrote this poem. The prayer reached a worldwide audience when it was read aloud during UNICEF’s World Summit for Children several years ago. Her “Knowing” and  “Love” of children is expressed so beautifully through her writing.  May God bless Ina and all of the children in need of someone who cares.  Bless you for your attention to this need.

The simple act of breathing is the most primal, natural, and universal human experience. Focused breathing is one of the most rewarding and enlightening personal practices for those seeking mindfulness and peace and understanding in and of life. Awareness and perception is everything. Breathing development is of the utmost importance and it is often an indispensable aid to superior health, peak performance, and life extension. Is the way you breathe making you sick, stealing your energy, hampering your productivity or shortening your life? Findings resulting from a 5,200-person clinical study group observed over a 30-year span showed that pulmonary function measurement is an indicator of general health and vigor and literally the primary measure of potential life span. The first step in healthy breathing is to become consciously aware of how we actually breathe. In addition, the world’s great spiritual traditions teach us that our breath not only brings needed oxygen and other substances to the physical body, but it can also bring the finer energies that are needed to help nourish our higher selves. Regardless of what we may believe about our soul and spirit, The Breath, and how we breathe, is intimately connected with all aspects of our experience of life.  Most people have unhealthy breathing habits, which include holding their breath or breathing high in the chest or in a shallow, irregular manner. Certain “typical” breathing patterns actually trigger physiological and psychological stress and anxiety reactions. Heart attacks, cancer, strokes, pneumonia, asthma, speech problems, and almost every disease known to mankind is worsened or improved by how well we breathe. People who breathe optimally rarely or never get sick.  A healthy and knowledgeable mind has an easy Breath and The Breath is Life…the act of Breathing is Living…it is our Being. “The Heart of the Matter” encourages everyone to learn more about focused healthy breathing and to incorporate your knowledge into your lifestyle for  Your Elevated Life this year.

Heart breathing…We know that our breathing is the inhaling and exhaling of air. The organs that serve for this are the lungs that lie round the heart, so that the air passing through them thereby envelops the heart. Thus breathing is a natural way to the heart. And so, having collected your mind within you, lead it into the channel of breathing through which air reaches the heart and, together with this inhaled air, allow your mind to descend into the heart and to remain there. ~Nicephorus the Solitary~

Breath Is a Bridge…”Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to our thoughts.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh~

I Am ALIVE…”If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance.” ~Andrea Boydston~

The Breath of Love…”There is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. Then, there’s another way: a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity.” ~Rumi


Stand Still and Breathe…”Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.” ~Krishnamacharya~

Breathing Small…”Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” ~Mary Oliver~

Breathe Past Fear…”Fear is excitement without the breath.” ~Fritz Perls, M.D.~

The Breaths of a Lifetime…”A lifetime is not what is between the moments of birth and death. A lifetime is one moment between my two little breaths…The Present, The Here, the Now…That’s all the life I get. I live each moment in Full…In Kindness…In Peace…Without Regret.” ~Chade Meng~

Learn to Exhale…”Learn how to exhale, the inhale will take care of itself” ~Carla Melucci Ardito~


The Sweetest Things…”The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson